I ♥ Music

Thursday, December 27, 2007,4:35 AM

try it on my own

My Everdearest Friends .

The song, very related to my life . i wish i could sing this song to you guys .

i feel like an old man lying down on his bed sorrounded my friends and family breathing for his last breath . and everyone kissing my forehead turn by turn to say goodbye . and bringing to the stairway to heaven their unconditional love .

first and formost . it is sad to know that i was not qualified to join ITE, for that i am not able to continue my studies here again in singapore. well i guess, i am the one to be blame . i have been a notorious,obnoxious student in the past . i am just a stupid jerk in a normal technical stream .
a lot of chances were given to me and yet i disobeyed everything. Regret is always in the end. in this time round no chances are given .
Living in singapore was a great experienced for me. the foods, the environment the places and specially my adorable and loveable FRIENDS. it is hard to forget the past.
the past which was filled with joy and laughter . through good times and bad times. ohh shit it makes me cry now . recalling the past . being a brenda wasn't too easy to live life to the fullest. every night out of the street discriminating for pleasure and happiness and money to support everyday expenses. like shoppings, cigarretes, taxi and etc.
i've been super exoctic to the max . and forget being bryan and old friends at the same time. i never thought of those friends i am with on the streets were not the friends i've been wanting for .
and because of them, being brenda i became a part time student in my school BUKIT VIEW SECONDARY SCHOOL . it was a total devastation to know that one of my subjects was ungraded . results i can't select the good courses in ite . i always wanted to be a nurse well i know i was too ambitious for that . a stupid jerk like me deserves nothing in life . i am being ridiculous for expecting myself in a nurse's uniform. I really treated my friends well like melda . a lot of things happened . but i absolutely know that his boyfriend is his prioritise . my handphone was stolen in his boyfriend's house if you don't know by now melda because of that . i have to pay 300 for penalty .i did not tell the police who stole it just because for your own good . you see i always think about my friends first before i make a move. your boyfriend who promised to pay but give nothing but his words. and you ? nothing. and you still can tell people that i stole your boyfriend's handphone and money . when you stole my money did i spread to the people ? you did not appreciate everything i did for you . go and get a life .

and now i am living the life how a normal boy starts to live being an adult . i faced the reality .
a simple life with so much adorable friends . friends is my treasure . do u guys wanna know why i stopped living as a woman ? hahaha . i think sayyidi should know. LoL .
but the real thing was i am enough of everything . specially guys who broke brenda's life .
that danny ! mother fucker . khalid i will always love you . please forgive my sins. I've learned from my mistakes which way to go .

I start again go back to one . i am running things on my way . although it is difficult but i can't go back living in a wrong way like before .
i just love my friends. i will miss the fun we had if i happen to leave . well i guess it will take long for me to see you guys again . i really really treasure everything .
thank god for all his everyday blessings. the unconditional love he gave to me . i am fortunate enough to have a such good experience in this 19 years .

Now it is time for me to do it on my own and i don't care wether it is right or wronng
i have to learn to do it on my own ways . i wanna be independent this time and for that i will live life the way i feel. to prove to myself that i can do it.

Me myself and i telling you guys that start a new way of life while still early . do not get accompanied by the wrong people who are traitors . remember regrets is in the end of everything . be inspired by this . bare in ur mind. do not throw the good opportunities .

"DO NOT DULL YOUR SHINE FOR SOMEBODY ELSE"